Are you used to playing in games where characters die often? Is re-rolling a frequent event? Or are you from a gaming group where there is fear of death but the end of character; the end of that story point, is a rare and significant event?
Hopefully, no matter how you might answer the question above, you’ll find some fun and games in this sample of famous last words.
|Famous Last Words:||Contributor:|
|pc1: all right a one… That’s good right…|
Dm: (after rolling dice) you lob off both your arms
|PC1: Ok, your initiation consists of shooting this apple with an arrow off the top of the Dwarf’s head.|
|PC1: I fly kick the vampire||Darnithak|
|DM: “Hundreds of seven-foot tall humanoids pour through the dimensional portal, all equipped with wickedly glowing spears. One turns to face you, and you can see that his head is merely a grinning skull.”|
PC: “Maybe they’re friendly.”
|Daddy, you know that new car of yours…||IgnisDivne|
|DISARM! DON’T TRIGGER!!! bad hobbit…..bad hobbit………||CapnDan|
|They’ve got hostages, they won’t attack they wan’t to negotiate.||Broyaan|
|Of course I know featherfall. Now jump off the cliff!||Azriel Firehand|
|PC1:wait a minute…weren’t we carrying three torches?|
*moments before figuring out they just lit the sunken fortress they are in on fire*
|Hey, what does this button do…?||koleene|
|*ranger inside of rangers guild before adventure*|
Ranger- ya i want to buy some arrows
GuildMaster -what do you plan to use these for?
Ranger- you know, to shoot what ever gets in my way…
|It’s like my mother said..”You know when your donkey hee-haws, it means he’s kicked a beaver.”||sum1|
|I don’t care “Mr Lord of the Sith!” I am Jedi Knight!||Iron Man|
|To heck with the lock, I just bust the door down.||Halosoulfire|
|CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!||The Supreme One|
|“OOPS wrong side I didn’t mind the Courtyard” A witch that throws herself on her broom from a tower of a castle on top of a mountain.||ASCURION|
|“I thought i told you, I don’t believe in dragons!”||TrueMarik|
|You know Smalta, me and you have been adventuring for a long time now and Ive never been able to tell so Im just gonna ask… the strange walk… smelting accident or druidic mold curse?||Gene|
|Dwarf Singing: My bright shiny hammer makes my enemies go down, my enemies go down my enemies go down.||Fyrentinnimar|
|I attack the living wall with everything i got.||Fyrentinnimar|
|Damn died again. . . Can I come back as a Revenent??||Nanteen|
|” ok I’m gonna rush up and surprise these sword spiders……”||Jaxm|
|” quick lets hide in this hole…”||Jaxm|
|I cast “fireball”. Yes, in a library. It’s OK, I’ve got protection from fire.|
I’m in the “demon summoning and meteor storm” section of a magical library, you say? Ah.
|“No one would be stupid enough to ram another car at THIS speed !”||Jimmylx|
|“are you *SURE* we should be doing this?”|
“Its just myth , remember? its not really haunted”
|So what if I’m a thief?! I attack the goddamn troll!||Darth Vader|
|I’ll be safe in this tree. I hope Giant Striped Bears can’t climb||Sengir Bloodthirst|
|its all good||Darkon|
|“Bloody Hell!”||Acidic Plague|
|There are three groups of armed men standing in the lobby of a tower block at a stand off no one wants to fire, the Pc’s, The Commonwealth (gov agency), and some terrorists.|
::Big lift door opens and four heavily armoured men walk out.::
Man = Who killed my BROTHER?
PC1 = OH S**T
PC2 = You dick head!
::Lots of shooting::
|PC1(newbie)to PC2(veteran): ok so i stabbed the shadow with my sword, what should i do now?|
PC2: Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye…
|Naaaa….we are only level 1. The DM will not kill us so soon !||Kerhin|
|PC1 Fighter to other adventurers: “Okay, we’re stuck in the jail, three armed guards, and no weapons. What do we do to get out of here?”|
PC2 Half-Ogre Ranger: “I’ve got an idea.”
PC1, PC2, and PC3 simultaneously: “Uh oh…”
|JFK: Look people in the buildings….||Isobane|
|“You’ll never take me alive! Just don’t shoot me in the legs!”||chloe|
|Thats ok, I trust you||urgel|
|I’ll just suckerpunch the musclehead real quick… So, what’s a Juicer, anyway?||Joiless Oubliette|
|I shift to homid and shimmy down.||DoomSayer|
|I think I heard it over …..||moocowrx100|
|DM: Nik, take 7 damage.|
Nik: Dude, that’s not fair!
|The balor lord is retrieving to his home world just before the portal is collapsing, when one of the players says “What? Are you coward? Chicken!”||Gilur|
|nah, grots don’t have the mental stability to be a psker…..||kais|
|I am a greater demon of Nurgle. its is an imperial guardsman. who do you thinks is gonna win?||kais|
|What does this button do?||Fael|
|DM: Ok, you walk into the room, and see a small creature.|
PC: Is it cute?
DM: From a distance…
PC: Cool, I go up and pet it.
|Orions.. the OTHER other white meat!||Greshmahg|
|“There’s dynamite in the safe-cracking kit. We can throw that!”||Ibrus Voight|
|GM: “The Arbitrator orders you to halt.”|
Andrew: “I’m carrying on.”
Cass: “You’re the medic! If you die-”
Andrew: “I’m carrying on…”
|Raziel – Is she ugly?||Wulf|
|I cast a charm person on the guard. Now, I want to see a saving throw at -4, -1 ’cause I’m an enchantress, -1 because he doesn’t see the spell coming and another -2 because I’m a sexy bitch! What, “make a new character, wise guy”? What’s that supposed to mean?||verpoolisch|
|(first level mage) Dang, out of spells. I’ll use my boots to kill the last three ghouls.||verpoolisch|
|(DM) A 1-foot spider jumps on your head and bites you|
(PC1) Get it off, get it off!
(PC2) Don’t worry, I’ll kill the beastie with my sword
(DM) Sorry, you missed the spider and hit her
(PC3) Stand back, I’ll kick the spider
(DM) Allright, make a new character
|All my money gone? That’s not fair!||verpoolisch|
|Gm: Did I mention is a blob of acidic goo with an illusion casted?||MethieBethie|
|I’ll pull a pin out of one of my bandoliere and throw the whole thing at the demon.|
I have resist fire, I should be ok.
|Awwwww innit cute||Jimmylx|
|Old Man : Never will you get to the portal|
C1 : Oh and whos gonna stop me? You and what ar……holy s**t!
::Old man is replaced by Blood Thirster::
|PC: I charge the street scum|
GM: Ok, ::Roles dice:: Uh-oh
PC: What you mean Uh-oh??? (worried sounding)
|Now why would the assasin keep a bottle of poison on himself?||Azriel Firehand|
|“Chainsaw? I’m a werewolf! It cant hurt me you idiot ahahahaha…OH CRAP||Sephiroth|
|Pc: NOW you tell me!||Luinethondwen|
|I’ll just tap it with this ten foot stick –||Area51|
|dude: Dude, what’s that?!|
DM: That’s a pixie.
dude: Cool! I smoke the pixie.
|DM: There is a wooden chest with some runes made of gold on it stands on the altar.|
Thief: I wrap a rope and open the lock from a distance.
DM: The chest opened whith a click. And as you tried to find traps before, nothing unusual it seems.
Thief: I open the chest.
DM: There is just a scroll in the chest.
Thief: You can’t read the scroll with the rope, you know!
|Moto: Your seriously about to let the swarm of dretches surround and flank you out the wazoo..?|
Lupus: Yea, they still need a nat-twenty to so much as touch me.
DM: Nat-twenty. Next attack, nat-twenty, next attack, nat-twenty, next attack, misses…
|I pee on Bain’s Alter!!||jldyr|
|“Bang” – Cowboy Beebop:Spike Spegel||Warthroar|
|GM: “You go up to her house.”|
Me: “Is there anyone in the house?”
GM: “Yes, a large rabbit.”
Me: “Ok, open the door and say ‘Nice bunny’.”
GM: “You open the door, and the rabbit kicks. Make a dodge.”
Me: “Ok, missed my dodge.”
GM: “Hold on, ok your head is just inside the door when you hit the ground. Take 3 points of crushing.”
Me: “Ok. I will kneel.”
GM: “Ok, the rabbit kicks again, hit.”
Me: “No Dodge.”
GM: “Your on the ground again, and before you can get up the bunny slams the door against your head….repeatedly.”
Me: “So how much damage, and how retarted is my character now?”
|Homer the Butt-Banging Barbarian and Esekiel are fighting a large group of gnolls when the party’s brand new Wizard Rincewind throws a fireball…|
Homer Charges Rincewind and drops him to 1hp in one blow…
DM: Homer, are you going to deal a death blow…?
Rincewind: *Grovelling* PLease dont kill me…I’m sorry…You can have anything I have.!
DM: Erm…You do know WHY he is called the “Butt-Banging Barbarian” dont you?
Rincewind: This is going to hurt isnt it…?
|Its the night before we storm a heavily guarded castle, so what do we do? Go drinking of course! I made a critical failure on the fort check so my normaly cold and aloof character, Rav, a female drow wardancer with a charisma of 18, is so drunk shes dancing on the tables.|
Seeing this the male members of the party decide that its the perfect time to have a flirting contest to determine who had the best chance with her. Unfortunitly one rolled a crit success with his role to flirt and failed his fort check to see if he was sober.
The next morning he wakes her up and says :”Morning gorgeous, I dont know about you but I’ve wanted to do that for ages. Go get me breakfast wont you?”
|I thought I told you to buzz off!||cmdrwhitewolf|