There are a number of common traits in this collection of famous last words. Drow are dangerous. Dragons are dangerous. Dwarves have no sense of humour. Kobolds are never as easy to kill as you think. Orcs do hunt in packs. Stormtroopers can hit you from there. If you’re talking about Cthulhu then it’s already too late!
My favourite last words are the ones in which the context is implicit. “That’s too cute to be harmful,” and “Should be easy enough,” etc.
|Famous Last Words:||Contributor:|
|I approach a midget||theunspeakablefuzzball|
|Oke, I will try a diplomacy check against that ancient red wyrm.
What do you mean I am running for my life because I failed my will save?
Oke, do I understand correctly that I do not have to run anymore? Then I can do the diplomacy check now.
|I’ll just jab this Balor with my -8 Dagger of Falling Apart! Dangit! The dang dagger fell apart! Why did I pay 2,000 gold for a dagger that falls apart the moment…||Musulabub|
|Was that my last Potion?||Randog|
|PC: Oke, there is a large table behind the stone golem?
PC: I tumble around the golem and hide behind the table, full defence.
DM: The golem takes a five foot step around the 5*5 foot table and puts his nice stone fist on you….
|I should have stayed in town…||Nanteen|
|“Who’s the bitch with the spiders?” (ahhh! the infamous Lloth)||Jimmylx|
|Its ok the dragon is sleeping.. he’ll never hear us if we tip toe…||Azriel Firehand|
|I’ll be right back!||Sephiroth|
|“You worry too much.”||Jade|
|Pc1: I thought you said *all* Shoji’s were good…
Pc2: My mistake.
|What do you take me as, a fool? Dragons cant climb trees!||iamnat|
|PC: Can’t I just dart past it, jump on my boyfriends back and use him as a sledge to get off the staircase?||ShatteredRoses|
|DM: Night is falling as you approach the chasm.
PC1: Everybody wait here, I’ll go check if it’s safe.
PC2: Don’t you want to take torches with you?
PC1: It’s night, monsters won’t see me.
|DM: The lich is still chasing you. You enter a room full of dung.
PC1: Great! Let’s hide in the dungheap!
|“All right- time for running combat!” (in an All Flesh must be eaten game..)||Sa’kina|
|Can we have a do-over?||wyrdrun|
|PC decides to charge the 6 ogres (and ogre mage) that are slowly plodding toward his 2nd/3rd level party-
“You’re the DM, it’s your job to make sure we survive”
|PC: I take a potion.
(A few minutes later)
DM: Wait, you don’t have any potions. But you still took a bottle of something, what do you have?
PC: …alchemist’s fire…
(Sounds of DM laughing)
|(West-end Games StarWars…)
PC1(Antagonist):I’ve got 14D in control and the disipate energy power; do your worst!
PC2(Protagonist):I’ve got 16D in alter and telekinesis… what’s your disipate BUS skill at?
|Don’t worry guys, most dragons are Lawful Good anyway…||Laguna117|
|There is NO SUCH THING as giant trolls on the chance encounter chart…||Laguna117|
|PC: Don’t worry, I’ll use the force to get him to talk!
GM: Hutts are immune to mind tricks.
PC: He’s not immune to being bounced around the ceiling for half an hour.
|(this was a party with 2 all fresh players)
DM: Your torch attracted a Orc party out for hunting.
Ranger: How many are there?
DM: over 50
Cleric: I hide in a bush!
Ranger: I’ll climb that tree and shoot them
DM: you only have 10 arrows left…
|Drow or not… she’s just a woman||guenwyvar|
|you and what army?? gulp…||guenwyvar|
|Ranger: “What do I see?”DM:”Do you remember the trap that killed Indy’s guide in Raiders of the Lost Ark?”||Yoshiro|
|I’m the real shady yes I’m the real sh…..||moocowrx100|
|A vampire tries to put you under his thrall as you are but inches away from drowning in hypnosis.
::eyes glaze over & quirks a brow:: “Sorry, necro-nookie… not my thing.” ::stakes the vampire::
|Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.||General Sage|
|“Sure I can take the dragon.” (Rushes up to it and reaches for sword) “Oh yeah, the acid…”||Pieh|
|Yes. I am aware that thats a green slaad. However, the question is, is it dead or just asleep?||Guttercrawl|
|it so cute!||The Supreme One|
|An apprentice to his Wizard tutor.
“There’s this guy with horns and a whip outside, he asked if this was the house of grumbeard, I told him he was wrong, it’s the house of Alkantyr…”
|ooh such a cute little kobald!||The Supreme One|
|I put the schnizzle to the Nizzle…||animefreak|
|Hmm i wonder what this does …||moocowrx100|
|I want to run out of the castle and talk to the evil mage.||Gred|
(Comming from the mouth of a paladin who just found out that the lych he just killed realy was just the daughter of the leader of his order)
|“I block the his lightsaber with my vibroblade.”||Faol Falconbreeze|
|I blow my whistle to get everyone’s attention…||knighttemplar42|
|I’m level 30 and this guy is only level 15. So what if he’s got a Death spell, how well can it work from such a low level?||Blood Wings|
|Just remember I said we shouldn’t come here.||Nanteen|
|c’mon we can rob him.. hes wounded and no ones around!||Azriel Firehand|
|Elf: What sort of pussy has their runes as Darkness & death?||McTavish|
|DM: You are standing in a 10×10 ft room, you don’t see any doors, but you hear several howls.
Wizard: Can i hear what they are?
DM: no, but you can see them now, they just appeared in front of you
Wizard: I cast maximized firebolt…
|OK, then, I shove my lightsabre up his arse!||LaiLeith|
|Hi Mr. blue dragon!…||settin|
|I attack the medusa with my gaze spell||Drake Utalrine|
|yo mama is fat, and ugly, and…..||kais|
|player: Are the artifacts here?
npc: THIS PLACE IS HUGE!
|(incoherent upset mumblings)…||Pieh|
|PC1: We need a distraction!
PC2: I know! I’ll steal his pants!
DM: You’ll steal the guard captain’s pants?
PC2: He isn’t looking. (rolls) I got a 4.
DM: I need damage dice.
|Hullo Orcsie!||Faol Falconbreeze|
|It’s just a demon.||poisongrin|
|they can’t be as dangerous as you people are saying! TWO MINUTES LATER AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH *thud*||theunspeakablefuzzball|
|DONT FORGET TO FEEEEED THE FIIIIISSSHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!||Annum|
|What are you talking about.. the dead cant come back to life!!!||Azriel Firehand|
|Umm…lesse…that rock should provide enough cover from the blast when I detonate the Mobile Suits…||All That Jaz|
|I can handle the ogre (Paladin)
And also his mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, niece, nephew, son, daughter, cousin and the rest of his 25 family members?
|Andrew: “Cool! Carapace chestplate! If I wear it over my flak jacket, do I get a bonus save?”
GM: “Not against armour piercing rounds. Like the multi-melta behind you.”
|BUT, but, but I made my save. . .||Nanteen|
|“I’ll climb down now! Don’t worry so much! besides the storm’s still miles aw…”||C-Puff|
|What do you mean my character can’t fly?||Hawse|
|The board is set and the peaces are moving.
I greatly desire to stay alive,
yet it is the enemie’s move and i think
he is about to open his full game.
|Merc: Those security droids are gaining awful fast
GM: you round a corner and spot a beaten up aircar
Merc: Can anyone fly one of those things
|Hextor, Hextor my deity, help you’re faithfull servant……………||gilibran|
|“One of you remembered to take the astrogate skill, right?”||Screaming_Bear|
|Wizard to apprentice: Hold this cane for me, will ya?||mandragorra|
|Haa! Partial cover is for sisies||eloy|
|Stupid Vampire PC: Archmage of Correspondence? Whatever, what’s he gonna do write us a nasty letter?||ironwolf56|
|Trolls??? What do you mean you don’t have to out run them? Hey!!! Wait for me!||Morgan Dailen|
|Don’t worry, we have ENOUGH healing potions.||Cernyr|
Party Leader: “Just don’t roll a 3, or your fireball will incinerate my unconcious body”
P2: “Don’t worry, I won’t” [Proceeds to roll a 3]
Party Leader: “OK… Anyone have something to carry my ashes in?”
|DM – You get tossed out of the town for vagrancy.
PC – Am I still drunk?
DM – Yes, and you’re getting hungry.
PC – I’m going hunting in those woods.
DM – Make Listen & Spot checks
PC – I got a 17 & 19.
DM – You hear rustling from a hollowed out tree trunk and see a set of eyes glimmering in the moonlight.
PC – I stick my head in the trunk.
DM – Make a wisdom check.
PC – I got a 5.
DM – You stick your head in the trunk and a raccoon screeches and attaches itself to your face.
PC – I stab it with my sword.
DM – You’re stabbing the raccoon on your face with your rapier?
PC – Yup. I roll an 18.
DM- You successfully stab the raccoon, but being drunk you overthrust and stab yourself in the cheek. The adreneline has sobered you
PC – Is it still on my face?
DM – Yup and rigor is setting in.
PC – I pull it off.
DM – It rips off your face, doing an extra 6 points of damage.
PC – I build a fire and cook it. Survival check roll is a 15.
DM – Ok you eat the raccoon and manage not to burn the forest down.
DM – Okay, guys. The cleric of Olidammara has died of rabies, looks like you’re going on without him.
|(GM) You come across a seemingly battle ridden field, with many fresh corpses.
(PC) I go and see if I can find any neat loot!
|I’m powerful…. behold my +5 keen vorpal extremelly little knife… not counting with the fact that i’m a powerfull halfling…||settin|
|I wonder what would happen if I put my finger in?…||Little_Elven_Girl|