Parts of Geek Native are from an older, now retired, site called GameWyrd. This is one such part!
Some of GameWyrd had to be retired when the site became Geek Native but “Famous Last Words” was worth saving. It wasn’t easy because I took a brute force approach to the transfer. I used Microsoft Word to copy and paste these famous last words over, crude but effective and at one point the Word document was over 140 pages long – that’s lots of famous last words!
| Famous Last Words: | Contributor: |
| If I hit it with a rock, do you think it’ll wake up? | Levon |
| “Your ordering me me to stab Demigorgon in the back?” | Takamatsu |
| come on I’ll take ya’all on!! | True blade |
| Don’t worry! | taichistudent |
| Player 1:Oh my god, we will all be killed
Player 2: Dont worry, I gave our barbarian the Plasma Gun. |
my tomere |
| DM: The small room you enter SPRAWLS out before you. You think it must be some sort of extra-dimensional space.
Player1: Oh that’s neat. Player2: Hey aren’t you carrying like 10 Bags of Holding? Player1: DAMN DAMN DAMn!!!!!!!!! |
Nanteen |
| “Oooooh! an Iron Flask! I guess I could go for a drink now anyways………”
(Final words of an Alcoholic Dwarf) |
Karsis |
| Do not worry about the chaingolem. We are perfectly safe behind this illusionary wall. | Ylorea |
| I’m sad to say that this was my fault.
GM: Alright so you fix the power grid to PC2’s specifications. It quickly shuts down, and the floor you are on catches fire. Me: Alright, I run! GM: Okay, an angry terrorist runs after you because you broke his power grid. *Pause for thought* Me: I attack the radio panel next to me! Sparks will fly out and rain on him at the very least blinding him! GM: Alright, you attack the radio and break it. Nothing comes out because THE POWER IS OUT. Me: Ooo… that’s bad. GM: The terrorist takes his big gun and mows you down. I don’t need to roll to know you are dead. Me: W-Well at least I broke their radio… |
Weirdoforu |
| Let’s go hunt orcs–they never hunt in packs. | Zifnab |
| Naw, I don’t think you have enough guts to cut out my tongue. | ChrystaBell |
| PC1 to giant: You cant exist, Your an evolutionary impossibility, Seriously how do you expect a habitat inclined to support beings of my stature to support a single creature of your girth let alone an entire race, on top of that a being your size couldn’t be bipedal, your spine would snap, and as for the huge club your wielding, there aren’t trees big enough let alone in that size…. therefore you don’t exist and your non existent club cant hurt me… | Azriel Firehand |
| Abraham Lincoln: This is easily the best play I’ve attended all year. | DoppleGanger |
| PC1: “RUN! Ill hold it off for you!”*charges*
PC2: “Wait, it’s chained up..(Chomp)… never mind.” |
Dim_The_Wise |
| Mom, meet my new girlfriend. | Kyle of Hyrule |
| “These Arrows of Fire should finish that red dragon off!” | victorbot |
| (PC1)It’s only a flesh wound, stop moaning.
(PC2)But its my arm. (PC1)Baa, it will grow back in the morning. |
Anchent_one |
| “What tha hell? There’s no such thing as a Death Glyph…” | victorbot |
| Dwarf: How many orcs?
GM: Thousands Dwarf: Hmmm…. Ok, you lot run – I’ll take them! |
Malgor |
| Can’t we talk about this? | azalin560 |
| Yep, from the looks of it, I’d say the inside barrel of your shotgun looks pretty clean. | DoppleGanger |
| P1: Ok, I cartwheel into the room, do a flip and land on the table.
DM:(shaking head) You just spilled the beer of every dwarf at the table, they… P1: Ohh, I pull the biggest ones beard!! I’m a dwarf, they won’t kill me. |
rishar |
| I use my wand of fireballs on it” (in a 20 by 20 room) | Adrastia |
| PC1: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?!?!?!?!?!
DM: Funny you should mention hell. |
Dante_Darklight |
| Well, if we bring back the lich’s head the dragon said she’d let us go…. | Callypsa |
| Space vampires? Naaa there not real… What they are real! Ohhh shit I left Frank alone with that strange thing! Oh well no one liked him anyway. | Anchent_one |
| I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS YOUR SISTER! | moocowrx100 |
| My brawn beats your brains anyday. | Angelus101 |
| Ki Senshi (Silverfang Alpha) -“Guys…where’s the Bastet? No, seriously…where’s Chammon at? Oh great Gaia, Khep, here’s my credit card. I want 8 flights out of the country before sunrise.” | Chaze Xavier |
| “I thought you said _you_ were going to keep an eye on the dragon.” | Valitania |
| Hypothetically, what happens when you’re flying in the air in a giant battle suit and you roll a 1? | Winter |
| Guy: We’re surrounded by orcs, it’s hopeless.
Girl: It’s okay, I used the last of our gold to buy this magic spoon. They told me a dragon’s spirit is embedded inside it. (starts rubbing spoon emphatically) |
DoppleGanger |
| He’s dying? Well, I’m sure I can heal him before the giant skeleton reaches me… | Callypsa |
| P2 (sleepily)” What has just happened?”
GM ” P1 just stepped into the darkness and fell down into a deep pit filled with spikes” P2 ” Ok, I’ll do the same” |
Eridan |
| “I dunno what an Asmodeus guy does, but it can’t be THAT hard” | Archy |
| I look in the arrow slits. | shadow thief |
| Lets drop our weapons and talk. | Donka the Donk |
| Cleric!!!!!! | Adrastia |
| Something so cute /can’t/ bite! | PsyQ |
| What’s the druid so upset about, it was only a Unicorn… | Jaxe |
| “The writhing mass seems composed of maggots, eyes and countless maws… what do you do?” “I shoot it!” | Vincenzo |
| You think I can make the guard flinch? | Lance Penzdragon |
| “He just fell off the 10th floor? I run over and catch him.” | Yoshiro |
| PC1: I’m levitating away. What do you mean the cave is 2 meters tall? | elazar |
| “Don’t worry, the gods can’t hurt me, I’m an atheist.” | Aildinn |
| *Brightly* Ya know, I believe this way leads to the exit…*Moment of hesistation* Dragon? No, that’s the other one..C’mon! | Clouded Nights |
| Floodgate?What floodgate? Oh! Ohh… Oh shit. | Pieh |
| DM: The Warrior in black armor is mortally wounded. As he sinks to the ground, he drops his sword to the ground. It almost looks as if it sucks up the light around it..
Fighter: It must be an awfully powerful sword. I pick it up! |
Rhaegar |
| “I wonder what would happen if we purposely broke his large bag of holding?” | cmdrwhitewolf |
| “Ok, so you’re a vengence demon. Big deal! As far as I’m concerned you can suck my…..” | AngelDeLaSoire |
| Paladin: Bwahaha! You can’t ride a worg!
Ranger: Watch. Paladin: There’s no way! (dice rolling) DM: Not only has he mounted the worg, but the worg bites Mr. Paladin and poisons him with rabies. You have about 2 weeks to live. Paladin: … |
arderkrag |
| Old Man: Ya know sonny boy, In all my years at the beach I’ve never seen clouds quite like those. Young Man: Umm, those aren’t clouds those are waves. |
DoppleGanger |
| p1: What’s that?
P2: I don’t know, lets poke it with a stick!!! |
rishar |
| “Whistling sounds? Naw, they can’t have a grenade launcher!” | Donka the Donk |
| “I’ll stick my tongue on it.” (Ochre Jelly in a glass jar) | Ithil |
| Cleric opens a door without the thief checking it for traps because the paladin leading the party insists that nobody would trap a door on a random house.
Naturally, said door has a petrification trap laid on it. The cleric fails her saving through and turns into a statue. Paladin: (Who has a WIS of 4) “Uh, who had the Stone to Flesh scrolls?” Thief: (Points at Cleric) “She did.” Paladin: “Shit.” |
Aaron the Slightly Mad |
| “ill trust you as far as you can throw me” | thedevil |
| OOPS! | Adrastia |
| I’ll be fine , watch & learn | Darkon |
| I poke the gelatinous cube | moocowrx100 |
| PC: Can I go have sex now…?
DM: Uhhh… you do realize you’re in the slums… PC: yeah, I wanna go have sex though? DM: *roles a dice* You get laid and collect five diseases. PC: … WOOHOO!! |
Lopik |
| HA! To kill me, you need to roll a 10. or an 11,12,13,14,15… never mind. | Drakono |
| “Yes yes. I have heard all the stats on Tiamat before… I am a much better knight than he was…” | Takamatsu |
| PC1:”Ill jump off the bridge, and drop my grappling hook.”
DM:”Did you tie it off first?” PC1:”uh…what?” |
Dim_The_Wise |
| How on Earth could this be considered heresy? | Vincenzo |
| “yeah sure you are a Titan polymorphed as a goblin” | Archy |
| “I’ll take off my armor so I’m silent and slip past the dragon.” | Donka the Donk |
| Don’t be silly, there’s no dragons in these parts. | Libidone |
| “Exposed to sunlight the red gem begins to melt into a pile of goo. What do you do?” “I touch the goo!” | Vincenzo |
| I’m pretty certain that I know what I’m talking about!!! | lifeinthefastlane14 |
| Heh, dude did you know your wearing a dress? | Pieh |
| DM: you see a statue of a giant winged demon holding a huge red jewel.
Dwarf warrior: I climb up and get the jewel. |
Jaroch |
| GM: There are two doors, one has a sign “Very dangerous”.
Player: I can’t read! GM: Well, there are two doors, one has a sign. Player: I open the nearest. GM: It is the one with the sign…. |
Hjallti |
| DM:A gagging sulfer smell hits you, as you turn you see a red dragon blocking the only exit,what do you do?
Tormane:I drop my pants and Yell”Beware the great wyrm!” |
Tormane the Slayer |
| Wha, ha, ha, ha!!! What can a weak kobold do with a pillow?… | settin |
| “You didn’t pull that lever, did you?” | ZzPzora |
| Aren’t you the stable boy? Hahaha! | Maricyl |
| He doesn’t look so tough | Honor Harrington |
| PC(to DM): Hey, yours sisters HOT! | animefreak |
| “Ha, so you’re Napolean. Lol. You have got to be kidding, now go get your dad short stuff, and tell him, we want to do his mission.” | my tomere |
