One of the great side effects of collecting so many famous last words from so many gamers was that it was easy to notice how often we understood each others in-jokes and references.
There’s a collective wisdom across so many games; from D&D, to Cthulhu to Warhammer, etc. I think it’s also fair to suggest there may be a common mindset that we’re able to make the most of.
|Famous Last Words:||Contributor:|
|What is he writing on the blackboard? Ha…
Has…. OOOHHHHHHH!!! Hastur!
|I will just cut the ring of his finger, just like Isildur did with that nasty fellow in LotR. (said the first level thief)||Ylorea|
|(player being carried in a wyvern’s claws several hundred feet in the air): I stab it in the foot with my dagger….||Avangel|
|I wonder if I can run around with MY head cut off.||Iceman|
|first of all shes never seen my thing and second II BURNS OH GOD IT BURNS……||Urza the Dark Mage|
|DM: As you touch the altar, you suddenly feel your hand get sucked inside by its unholy power.
PC: I use my other hand to reach in and pull it out.
|NPC Old Man: Don’t worry younguns, there ain’t been a werewolf around here for centuries. Go ahead and get some sleep, I’ll take first watch. (turns around pokes fire)
PC: Um, sir, where’d you get that odd looking wolfskin cloak?
NPC Oldman: *grins*
|The only way to save you was to grope you!||Winter|
|PC to DM: you roll how many d6 ?||Kerhin|
|HA it is only Drows! Females roules them !||Kerhin|
|A PC fighter is walking through the woods
DM: You see a semi-spherical object hanging from a tree. It’s brownish yellow. (Is actually a hive of giant killer bees.)
PC: Can I tell anything else about it from here?
DM: No it’s far away.
PC: I’ll throw a rock at it.
|Grausherra The Dynast|
|I’m a powerful demi-god… really!…||settin|
|“So you say there’s wrapped up candy in it’s mouth?”||Larz|
|GM: “Everything in front of you is totally dark.”
Charlie: “I rush ahead! I will kill it!”
|DM: “The room is 40′ by 20′. In the center is a large Black Pudding!”
PC: “I grab my spoon and dig in!”
|[Last word of an NPC guard]
NPC: I like cheese.
PC1: Theres cheese down the barrel of my shoulder cannon.
NPC: can i have it?
PC1: Yes just put your head down the barrel…
NPC [sticks head in barrel] Theres no cheese in… [Shoulder cannon fires]
|I thought city watch guards had humour?!||Daoloth|
|“In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to resurrect someone who technically hasn’t been born yet.”||Screaming_Bear|
|Everyones Killing Me Nobody Is dieing||Roland Coda|
|PC1: How many men have we lost?
PC2: (casts Fireball) About 12 now.
PC1: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
PC2: I killed most of the orcs plus it’s easier to count the ones that don’t move.
|When that gate opens i a moment, and the alien queen bursts through, we’ll all use our flamers to…what do you mean there’s no oxygen in this atmosphere?||vandladning|
|hey you! Behold this!||theunspeakablefuzzball|
|“I’m going to shoot the skeletal dragon with my crossbow.”||Aildinn|
|After defeating a lich:
DM: You see that the lich’s teeth are in fact, several rubies and sapphires and other precious jewels
PC1: Cool! I’m taking them!
The other 4 PCs: DON’T TOUCH I-!!!!
|Player : Well, that stupid dragon ate my sword, so… I walk up to him and KICK him real hard!
DM : Heheh.
|“Oh crap, wrong character!”||Stormdruid|
|Hey Guys! Have you seen the other half of my head?
|After spending much time barricading the door, trapping windows, and searching under beds, the party was just about to bed down. My character gets a tap on the shoulder. “Nice work, do you think it will keep me out”? Fade to black…||Headstone|
|*sound of dice hitting table*||shaluus|
|Player: Come on, it’s the Abyss… I’m sure to find a red rose here somewhere!||Exodis|
|If our map is correct, these rooms are all small. I say we open all the doors at once.||Mathwiz|
|PC: I pull out my long sword with +3 damage.
DM: The Dragon just spewed fire at you and started your sleeve on fire.
PC: I beat at the fire with my sword.
DM: You forgot that you put an electrical charge spell on it two rounds ago and you are standing in a puddle of muddy water. You just got fried to a crisp.
|GM: “You’re handcuffed in front of the police station. There are more than two dozen officers training their weapons on you, with orders to shoot if you try escaping again.”
PC: “I run for it!”
|Whaddya ya mean he rolled a 20? Well I have a save +12, so statistically, i have a great chance for a save… Shit”||victorbot|
|Would a coward do this *turns and runs* bye||Darkon|
|Is it supposed to do that?||Little_Elven_Girl|
|yum! looks good!||The Supreme One|
|Paladin: “Godsdamn!!! those are a lot of undead, lucky I can turn them…”||Bob Thorgallson|
|Hmm, our thief is going to perform in front of this crowd of knights and fighters? Oke, I’ll start handing out rotten tomatos and eggs…..||Ylorea|
|I kiss the nymph!||animefreak|
|Was that a bluff
Yeah that was a bluff…Run
|I steal his ring||theunspeakablefuzzball|
|GM: “Through the crowd, you spot the unmistakable form of an Agent headed your way, pistol drawn.”
Surge: “He’s after us, right?”
|Just how much spell turning can one guy have?||Durant Felmett|
|Mister Necromancer, let’s be fair: you never told it was a secret you were planning to kill the king, how could I possibly know that?||verpoolisch|
|I think I can outrun a were bear with 3 crippled legs.||MethieBethie|
|I’ve seen some ugly orcs before, but you’re by far the biggest ugly-orc ever. (He won’t kill me, I’ve got the highest Charisma, and I’m cute!)||The_Sharon|
|PC1: I don’t feel so well. [ down to 5 HP].
PC2: Maybe this staff I found will heal you.
CP2: It’s a staff of stiking.
|Play time is over muties, time to die.||Lunar.Wolf|
|My magic breastplate blocks the aura of the artifact…
What exactly do you mean with “it dissolves my breastplate”
|Paladin1: Um…i cast detect Evil(passes out)
Paladin2:(after watching the first one)i cast detect evil too…
|DM: The figure of a beautiful woman appears in the magic mirror. She says that she will give immortality and endless power an wealth to anyone who steps through the mirror and joins her.
PC: Cool! I step through the mirror!
|S**t. Sorry about the demon.||Kintar|
|Hey, you could make her one of your sub-wives.
PC: NO! She’s too headstrong, and when she says ‘I think’ she means it!
|What do you mean, “Critical Miss”? I can’t miss with my vorpal sword, ones or no!||Judah|
|DM: The dragon raises its paw in a sign of friendship.
PC1: I raise my sword.
PC2: (After watching PC1) I run like hell.
PC: I look around the library for a way in.
DM: You find what looks like a laundry chute.
PC: Alright, i slide down it.
DM: You end up in an automatic garbage compacter. You are crushed instantly. Maybe next time, you’ll remember that THERE’S NO LAUNDRY CHUTES IN LIBRARYS.
|“What do you mean zombies aren’t infectious in D&D?”
“It means you should stop beheading the other PC’s when they’re bitten.”
|GM:You see a horrible monster gaining on you…
GM:It’s gaining on you…
Eric:I shoot Bob in the leg!
|PC1:OK. You wait here, and I’ll go jiggle the handle on this door. (ZAP!)
PC2:So that’s how lightning traps work! Oh yeah, it’s still locked.
|This particular pc insisted on playing 3 characters
Pc: I have my ogre breakdown the door, Tulavin wil make a diving role into the chamber with the cultists, both swords drawn and attack the nearest two cultists while Teralin covers him with his bow outside the room.
Pc: All tests passed and ready to attack the nearest cultists.
DM: Say, was’nt Teralin your ambidextrious, wardancer specialized in close combat fighting with two weapons, and Tulavin the bow specialist???
|PC:Yeah i will the crap out of him (trying to impress a girl)
DM:you feel a hand on your shoulder it suddenly has a blue glow
|And how are you, mister Big-masked-dude-with-a-chainsaw-who’s-about-to-kill-me?||Iceman|
|DEAD AGAIN! ! ! . Why do I play this game (sigh).||Nanteen|
|(True story from a bunch of new roleplayers going through the DragonLance Classics–no one had previously played the modules or read the novels.)
Tas: There’s a door at the base of the dragon? I’m going in!
Riverwind: No, you’re not…get back here now!
Tas: It’ll be fine, I’ll catch up in a minute…
(Riverwind sprints back to the party…fills them in as a party of draconians assembles a bonfire in front of the wicker dragon)
Riverwind: …the dragon’s fake, and Tasslehoff is inside.
Wicker Dragon (with Tasslehoff’s voice): I am the Great Dra-GON!!!!
(Draconian priest is suspicious, begins to leave bonfire area)
Tanis: We have to distract him! He’ll find Tas!
Raistlin: Pyrotechnics spell on the bonfire!!
DM: Flaming fireworks and darts suddenly erupt from the bonfire, commanding the attention of the draconians as the wind drifts the sparks settle to the wicker dragon, seting it afire.
Raistlin (to Riverwind): You didn’t tell me it was wicker!!!
|The darkness has begun-
There will be no dawn.
BRING IT ON!!!!!
|(PCs 1&2 are walking along a corridore in the dark.
PC1 falls, screaming into a pit. Seconds later, PC2 falls into the same pit, landing on top of PC1)
PC1: If I’m walking in front of you and I fall…STOP!
|Look a kobold…||settin|
|Look, these Tie fighters can take a beating, the Empire only buys the best!||Iron Man|
|“What the hell, they’re only orcs.”||BlanchPrez|
|“You know, it’s not that bad (Chew, chew). It tastes like chicken!”||BleuFire|
|I think I’ll stand over here by the rustling in the bushes.||Thongy O’Nongy|
|Don’t worry. I’m an expert on this type of creature.||blargg05|
|I wonder what this does||moocowrx100|
|I didn’t know she was your sister||moocowrx100|
|Did anyone else hear that?||Joiless Oubliette|
|To Azathoth: I’ll show you who the REAL arrond boy is!||theunspeakablefuzzball|
|that spell doesn’t do that, don’t worry||theunspeakablefuzzball|