I hope you never have to deal with a real-life chart from the doctors where they ask you, “Where does it hurt?”
I came across this alternative chart and thought of a fantasy RPG, although I believe Redditor Ekj_133 first shared it on r/swordlady. Let me know in the comments if you know of an earlier version.
So, should you find yourself in the unenviable position of needing to describe your injuries to a medieval physician, this chart proves invaluable. For the longsword victim, it’s a matter of pointing to a series of specific, well-articulated grievances. The rapier patient, however, presents a more challenging case, looking less like a wounded warrior and more like they’ve been aggressively aerated by a furious porcupine. And as for the halberd enthusiast, the consultation is likely to be a very short one, requiring the physician to ask not “Where does it hurt?” but rather “Which part of you is the original?”
Meanwhile, I’ll stand by my gut instinct and insist that the diagram also serves as an excellent guide for character creation in roleplaying games. The longsword represents a duellist of elegant precision, delivering carefully placed, debilitating strikes. The rapier speaks to a frenetic, swashbuckling style, aiming to make a thousand tiny, emphatic points all at once. The halberd, on the other hand, is the weapon of choice for when subtlety has been decisively voted off the island. It’s for the warrior whose battle plan begins and ends with ‘comprehensive geometric disassembly of the opponent’.
Ultimately, the image is a testament to the diverse philosophies of historical combat. The longsword asks a question, the rapier makes a statement, and the halberd provides a final, non-negotiable answer. It’s a stark reminder that while all these weapons will ruin your day, the halberd will also ruin the day of whichever poor soul has to tidy up afterwards.
